


Didnt Know How To Feel

by Onedoesnotneedtoknow



Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Grief, Hospitals, Loss, Lots of tears, possible tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-30 19:00:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12659457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onedoesnotneedtoknow/pseuds/Onedoesnotneedtoknow
Summary: “I’m sorry sir, but she’s gone.”d’Artagnan didn’t even feel his legs give out. He didn’t feel his knees cracking against the tiles. He didn’t feel Athos’ strong hands keeping him upright. He didn’t feel anything.Set after a modern bombing of the garrison, d’Artagnan didn’t know how to feel.





	Didnt Know How To Feel

“I’m sorry sir, but she’s gone.”

d’Artagnan didn’t even feel his legs give out. He didn’t feel his knees cracking against the tiles. He didn’t feel Athos’ strong hands keeping him upright. He didn’t feel anything. 

“She’s gone.” It echoes around his mind like a song he can’t quite get out of his head. 

“She’s gone.” 

“I’m sorry sir,”

“I’m sorry sir, but she’s gone”

It’s only later the rest filters in. 

“She was bleeding internally, 

a piece of shrapnel cut her heart,

couldn’t be repaired,

we tried our best,

the damage was too great.”

This too echoes around his mind, toying with him. 

He didn’t feel Athos’s arms tighten around him, he didn’t feel Athos shaking him to get his attention. He didn’t hear Athos yelling at him. 

“I need to see her.” His voice doesn’t sound like his own, he hears it with ears that aren’t his own. 

“Of course, sir.” He didn’t feel himself being hauled up Athos and Porthos, Porthos was there. He didn’t realise. The hallways stretched on forever, but they arrived too soon. 

Constance was sleeping in a bed, the blankets pulled up to her chest, her hands clasped on her belly, her hair spread out on the pillow under her head. She was sleeping, but they were talking, why was everyone so loud, they would wake her! He growled at the voices he heard and walked silently to the bed where his wife lay. 

Her pale skin seemed to blend into the sheets beneath her. The white draining the colour from her face. She was beautiful. She looked tired, but peaceful as she slept without dreams. She deserved that, her nightmares woke them both up sometimes, just as his did. d’Artagnan took her hand gently, afraid if he’d touch her she would wake, but he needed to hold her hand. He needed to know she was there. 

Her hand was cold, her hands were always cold. They should really turn the air conditioning down for her, or get another blanket. She shouldn’t be left here to freeze. He pressed her fingers to his lips, letting her know he was here. That he would look after her. 

She was so cold, so still, not even her chest moved with her breaths. Her firey spirit no longer burning under her skin. She’d wake any moment and scold him with a smile, she’d tell him to stop being so sentimental, and to wipe his tears away. He didn’t know he was crying, but as he looked, his tears had tracked down his face, and down her arm from where he still kissed her hand. She’s scold him for that too, for making a mess of things. 

He didn’t know when he started apologising to her, praying with her, or telling her of the life they would live together, only that his voice had long since left him and that a hand rested on his shoulder. 

“She’s okay, she’s with the angels now.” A voice, Aramis, spoke quietly beside him, “she can’t feel any pain.” 

“How do you know?” d’Artagnan’s voice hurt his throat, he could feel that. 

“I don’t,” there was a pause, “I can only believe that she’s being looked after by those that love her and that she’ll be waiting for you for as long as it takes.” 

d’Artagnan felt the hand on his shoulder move to rub a circle in his back, and when he felt himself lean to the side, he felt his brother’s chest solid against him. He felt the arms tighten around him, and he felt his grip on her hand loosen as he instead clutched at the chest tightly. He didn’t hear the words, but he heard their meaning, their intention, their love. 

He didn’t feel himself being led out of the room, but he felt himself curling up on something comfortable into a warm chest and strong arms. He felt the protection and the comfort of the others in the warmth at his back and fingers in his hair. He didn’t feel himself drift off to sleep, but he felt the others never leave his side. 

He didn’t feel the grief at first, but when it hit him, in the end Grimuld didn’t stand a chance.


End file.
